Asshole Attorney by Douglas J. Wood

Asshole Attorney Cover

Musings, Memories, and Missteps in a 40 Year Career
By Douglas J. Wood

“Doug, I been practicin’ law for fifty years. And I learned a long time ago, there ain’t no such word as ‘attorney’ or ‘lawyer’. It’s ‘asshole attorney’ or ‘fuckin’ lawyer.’”

Author and entertainment attorney Douglas J. Wood heard this statement from a southern lawyer nearly forty years ago—and it was these words that provided him with the inspiration to write ASSHOLE ATTORNEY: Musings, Memories, and Missteps in a 40 Year Career (June 26th, 2018; Plum Bay Publishing House; ISBN 9780998861722).

ASSHOLE ATTORNEY takes readers on a journey from Wood’s younger years when he was a self-proclaimed “Army Brat,” having moved to eight different homes throughout his childhood. One particularly devastating move for young Doug was when his family relocated from the beautiful beaches of Hawaii to Rutherford, NJ, where he developed his hatred for snow and faced the reality that the “green water in the Passaic River was no comparison to the gin clear waters of Oahu.”

Later, after a college career which included a car accident, a fake ID, and a sympathetic cop, Wood admits he is lucky to be alive and glad that he was able to pursue his legal career with “twenty-four law school rejections under my belt.” Despite that string of rejections and an average GPA in college, Wood tested extremely high on the LSATs.
As luck would have it a brand-new law school opened – the twenty-fifth he applied to – and accepted him on the spot during a phone interview.

“I was a college student who really screwed up, but God and an angel were on my shoulder…I was given a second chance. Most people are not.”

Doug’s madcap journey includes his many insane stories working with out-of-control rock stars; dealing with international crises in the dark alleys of Eastern Europe; life-threatening adventures with businessmen; evading Paris authorities; surviving helicopter crashes; leaping on business opportunities that were unheard of at the time; and a partnership in one of the world’s leading law firms. Throughout the memoir, Wood balances his “asshole attorney” adventures with fond stories about his parents, siblings, wife, children, friends and colleagues.

Readers will be charmed by Wood’s candor and humor and will laugh aloud at his sharp, witty commentary in ASSHOLE ATTORNEY as he navigates the pathways of his life and the jungles of his 40-year profession.

About Plum Bay Publishing House
Plum Bay Publishing is an independent publishing house and hybrid self-publisher. Their goal is to publish titles that will have a positive impact in the world, and provide information and knowledge for all audiences, large and small.

About the Author
Douglas J. Wood is the author of the award-winning Samantha Harrison political trilogy – Presidential Intentions, Presidential Declarations, and Presidential Conclusions. His non-fiction books include the popular text Please Be Ad-Vised: A Legal Reference Guide for the Advertising Executive, now in its seventh edition, and 101 Things I Want to Say…the Collection, a book of fatherly advice to his children. A partner at Reed Smith LLP, he has over 40 years of experience practicing entertainment and media law. He works in New York, lives in New Jersey with his wife of 44 plus years, and is currently working on a new novel about cyberwar and financial terrorism scheduled to be published in 2019. For more information, visit his website

ASSHOLE ATTORNEY | Musings, Memories, and Missteps in a 40-Year Career
By Douglas J. Wood | Plum Bay Publishing House | Publication Date June 26th, 2018
ISBN 9780998861722 | Hardcover, Paperback and E-Book | Price $22.99, $14.99, $9.99 | 240 Pages


What’s in a tagline?

I apologize for being remiss in not posting these past couple of weeks.  To be honest it’s been a bit of a shocker since I live in the NY Metro area and was affected by Sandy.  No power, gas rationing, and empty grocery stores can do that…I can only imagine what some others have dealt with on the shoreline or in lower Manhattan.

Anyway, as promised I owe you an article about taglines.  What are they?  They are probably most commonly thought of as slogans.  Their purpose is to emphasize the brand that is being promoted and to provide another way for the product to stick in a consumer’s mind.  Sometimes, the line can be so ridiculous, you wonder how someone came up with that!  Kind of like watching Geico commercials.  At this point with or without the gecko I know who did the ad by the crazy scenario I see on screen.

So let’s take my tag for example, “Communication Strategies for the 21st Century”.  My goal is to impress on potential clients that I am well versed in traditional methods in public relations and marketing but I also embrace new media and everything it can offer to a campaign (hence 21st century).  What am I going to do when the 22nd century hits…fortunately I won’t be responsible for that, but it has run across my mind, should my enterprise become the booming conglomerate every entrepreneur dreams of…

Here are a couple of others I’ve noted that kind of go out on a limb, if you ask me, but at the same time I certainly can’t forget them.

Applegate Farms: a maker of fresh, hormone free sausages and hot dogs has this on it’s trucks “The Cleaner Weiner” shaped in a smiley face.  See this video for more fun

A septic service in Wisconsin touts it’s excellence with “Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”.  This is actually the name of their company, but it emphasizes the service.

yesterday's meals on wheels - Chilliwack & Abby Septic Service truck

I have sat in meetings in the corporate world where a room full of people try to come up with a catchy, poignant way to highlight a brand.  I wish I could have been there for these two.  Please share any great taglines you’ve observed.  I’d love to read them.